Mart Finn

'Without prejudice'

Cocktocock, frottage, double jack off, dickfights, docking, dickroot 2 dickroot, cockhead on cockhead, shaft to shaft, balls to balls, face to face, chest to chest, eye to eye, belly to belly, thighs on thighs, toe to toe, nose to nose, pec on pec, nipple to nipple. Full male-to-male interaction.

Sexuality and the pragmatics of sexual acts are very personal subjects. Most savour and guard the privacy of this aspect of their lives. Yet we live in an era when sex and sexuality have become one of the most lucrative totems of 21st century consumer capitalism. Our sexual peccadilloes are retailed and marketed in front of our eyes every day and night of the week. Many people maintain a sense of individual sexual mystique about themselves by keeping secret which sex acts they enjoy ... sometimes even which gender they prefer.

Gay consumer capitalism has embraced this formula with a vengeance. Constantly defining and judging the quality of our life styles and the sexual identity of 'gay men'. One of our cultural totems, now, is anal sex ... fucking and getting fucked, top fucking bottom, butch serving bitch.

Like many other men whose adolescent years were post 1968 (decriminalisation in the UK), my self awareness as a man who likes to have sex with men, grew in tandem with an ever increasingly visible, vocal, out and proud gay community. I was and remain part of that community. I have always had the confidence and strength to state my sexual preference for men. Yet I accept that when I was younger, 16 - 25, I modified my instinctive desires and my intuitive sexual curiosity, to suit the wider 'culture' I felt I wanted to bond with. The accepted modus operandi was one guy fucks the other or the other one fucks him. There is some foreplay ... but usually the roles have been negotiated in advance ... often the road leads in only one direction. To the fucking.

The impact of AIDS and knowledge about the spread of HIV gave me a jolt. I stopped practising anal sex. Not because of the risks of diseases, but because I realised that fucking was surplus to requirement when assessing my personal sexual pleasures and imperatives. I acknowledged to myself that I had been engaging in that sexual transaction largely to satisfy or pacify sexual partners. I knew in my soul that I didn't need or desire it. Quite the contrary.

I hold my hand up to the fact that for ten years after that ... I didn't openly talk about my kind of sex ... cocktocock ... except with my long-term lovers. With everyone else I was open about not having anal sex ... but I was shy of being explicit about what kind of sex I liked ... exactly ! I couldn't announce, blatantly or discreetly, that I liked to cum cocktocock with a man ... and there were a number of ways to do it !!

Schoolboy sex, immature gropings and humpings, not the real thing, "... I have to fuck." ... "... I have to get fucked." These are some of the ways others describe anything which does not lead to anal sex. Yet many men, however they describe their sexual identity, enjoy phallic interaction with other men ... to orgasm. Cocktocock cannot be dismissed so easily.

Storytelling has been integral to most of my adult life. A few years ago I started to write erotic stories about guys who like to have the same kind of sex with men as I do. Cocktocock. My website aims to share the desires, pleasures, sensuality of a kind of sex ... cocktocock, which is more of an interaction between males, ... rather than what I call a transactional kind of sex ... fucking.

What do I mean by these terms?

'A transactional kind of sex'

We are all used to the vocabulary ... give and take ... you do me, I do you.

In the affluent West we have become used to getting what we want. Transacting and trading off as and when we need to.

'A transactional kind of sex' is where two individuals have expectations and specific requirements, which to them add up to 'good sex'. This may be called sexual attitude. The important thing is that one plays a roll well and expects ones partner to perform equally as strongly. In this arena empathy gives way to mutual continuous assessment. Some things are good others not so good. The quality of the transaction to be evaluated post orgasm.

'interaction between males'

Erotic sexual interaction between two same sex partners is a phenomenal experience in terms of psychology, physiology and social - cultural context. When I refer to sexual 'interaction between males' I refer to the psychological and physiological aspects of the shared experience. The socio-cultural context is explicit in the story line.

One of the essences of the shared experience between men is the level of synchronicity produced during the interaction. Male sexual partners 'do things to each other' ... each having an enormous sense of empathy with his lover ... this psychological interaction is fertilised and amplified by the physical sensations being enjoyed by both men. This level of empathy and synchronicity produces a unique existential state of being. A man is as himself in the sexual interaction and at the same time is as his lover; body, mind and in the moment. They interact to produce and celebrate the uniqueness of male-to-male erotic pleasure.

Sexual 'interaction between males' in the sense that sex is an ensemble activity rather than a duet of competing desires and needs. Interaction is the excitement of what will happen, what significant sexual experience will develop when two men share erotic pleasure together. Not an anticipation of what pleasures one gets back from giving some out, Quid pro quo.

We all know the excitement of an ardent lover ... the sensuous spark of an aroused male. We desire intimate, erotic sexual contact with him. Coming to him as a man ... bringing the same masculine spark ... to make a fire. A presumption in one partner or the other that their mate will bring anything to the interaction other than that which they themselves bring, a shade of a shade, is an expectation of a behavioural role which is outside of themselves. Inverted cause and effect. Transactional is where if the effect is not what was expected ... then the paradigm is broken. Interactional sex is where the partners are engaged with the psycho - physio - chemical reaction, which explodes from the mixing of equal masculine desires. Cause and effect. They are enjoying and sharing at a high level of consciousness. This too can be ardent and strong, dynamic and forceful. Men behaving as men. Having intimate, erotic sex with men.

And that's what my story STUDS is about. Men making the transistion from transactional to interactional sex.

I hope you like it.

And if you visit, as well as enjoying the stories, and maybe submitting one, I hope you will find the cocktocock net links pages useful, a platform from which to support and expand sites like The Man2Man Alliance and Heroic Homosex that are spreading the word about cocktocock.

By Martin Finn © Martin Finn February 2002


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