who reject anal penetration, promiscuity, and effeminacy and
who put forth the truth that one man can love another
among men who have sex with men
without any surrender of either's masculinity
by
and
Frot (rhymes with "hot") is the contemporary term for the male same-sex erotic practice formerly known as "frottage": full-body, phallus-on-phallus sex, done face-to-face and heart-to-heart.
The Man2Man Alliance is a coalition of gay, bi, and straight-identified men determined to win recognition from both gay and straight society of the genuineness of their feelings for one another; and of the validity of the expression of that affection through Frot, phallus-on-phallus sex, which is not only life-affirming and masculine but mindful of both participants' shared mutual enjoyment.
This Man2Man Alliance website, then, and our affiliated Heroic Homosex and Frot Men domains, are advocacy sites, dedicated to putting forth the truth that two men can have a physically and emotionally loving relationship without any surrender or sacrifice of either's masculinity.
This central premise flies in the face of beliefs cherished by both the dominant heterosexual and homosexual cultures.
Straight (heterosexual) culture defines men within the confines of a narrow and sterile idea of how men should relate to one another, both emotionally and physically. Too often, heterosexual men are taught that any physical bonding with another man that involves sex or emotion automatically brands them as something less than a man.
While gay male culture has become obsessed with anal sex, incessantly asserting that anal is the ultimate expression of erotic contact between men, and that no sexual encounter is complete unless it culminates in an act of anal penetration.
Yet the erotic pleasure in anal penetration is so minimal, and, when joined with promiscuity, the dangers anal presents to its practitioners and the community so great, that it's difficult to conceive of a practice more ruinous or less enjoyable taking center place in a sexual subculture.
These dangers, of which HIV/AIDS is the best known, but which include hepatitis B and C, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, the human papilloma virus, herpes, and a host of other pathogens, will persist even after AIDS has been cured or can be prevented through vaccination.
And more anally-transmitted diseases most certainly await discovery.
For anal penetration is an exceptionally efficient mode of disease transmission, and we can be sure that pathogens will continue to find an infective niche in anal.
In addition, no magic or wishful thinking can transform either the anus or the rectum into genital organs, nor can the feelings experienced by a man being penetrated anally be compared to those of genital stimulation.
Further, anal penetration subjugates one of the participants to the other, effectively emasculating him, turning him into a pseudo-woman, a proxy for heterosexual contact. This is an inherently unequal act, epitomized by its tedious terminology of "tops" and "bottoms," which is unmindful of the basic human need for a shared experience without pain and with dignity.
Whereas Frot, phallus-to-phallus contact, is the acme of sexual activity between men because it's focused on that which makes men masculine, namely their genitals, rather than their excretory system.
To draw a parallel with heterosexual sex: men and women connect to one another genitally. They are made that way, like counterweights or puzzle pieces, complementary of one another. In the same way, during phallus-to-phallus sexual activity, men are related to one another as they should be, in that part of their body that fits together genitally and sensually. For a man and a woman sex is a naturally penetrative act. For two men the natural experience is that which stimulates both of them phallically -- not anally. Neither the anus nor the rectum are genitalia, period. And to say so is not in and of itself confrontational, but simply affirmative of a natural affinity the majority of men feel for one another. To be able to have a healthy, fulfilling, safe act that is cooperative in the achievement of gratification should be hailed as a boon to both cultures -- but instead it has been met with skepticism in straight society and derision in the gay male community.
This continuing denigration of healthy, loving, and innately masculine sexual intimacy is a result of ignorance and prejudice, and the men of the Alliance are committed to exposing and defeating both.
The Alliance and its allied websites also present in detail the historical and cultural context of the recognition of same-sex contact between men. This is relevant to both men who are either primarily heterosexual or homosexual. Because historically, in many cultures, men could express erotic desires for both sexes and be considered totally within the realm of normality.
In fact, Frot is an expression of our most basic male biology, that we are not only capable of giving and receiving pleasure phallically with each other as men, but that we are hard-wired to enjoy it. Recognizing phallus-to-phallus sex as a part of the natural interplay among men will go a long way to removing the prohibitions still in place in our society against the physical and sexual expression between men of their bond and friendship. That's not to say every friendship between men should involve sex, but rather that if it evolves into a phallic, sexual sharing it is not an aberrant or immoral behavior, but a natural and imminently uplifting experience.
Finally, the Alliance does not support promiscuity among men who have sex with men, and encourages its members to practice monogamy and fidelity.
To us this is not complicated. Promiscuity is psychologically debilitating and physically dangerous, and the sexually transmitted infections which plague the gay male community and threaten society as a whole would disappear were it not for promiscuity, and anal promiscuity in particular.
Many individuals and organizations of the religious right have condemned anal promiscuity and pointed to its role in the dissemination of disease, and we agree with them.
Unfortunately, however, all too often those same individuals and organizations have linked their condemnation of anal promiscuity with a blanket condemnation of any expression of same-sex affection, and in so doing have strengthened the hand of those in the gay male community who unhesitatingly accuse men opposed to anal and promiscuity of erotophobia and homophobia.
We submit that such condemnations of male affection and amity have, in evangelical terms, aided and abetted the work of the adversary, and we urge Christians to reconsider, through thought and prayer, the effects of their actions.
We also directly question under what scriptural authority those condemnations have been made. Jesus, who, Christians believe, died that men may spiritually live and who intercedes for them before the throne of God, when incarnate on earth made no condemnation of affection between men. The Old Testament speaks of "a man who lies with a man as with a woman" - but that does not apply to men who practice Frot - for we are present sexually with a man as only another man can be. And in the story of David and Jonathan the Bible sets forth as clear a model for love between brave and heroic men as could be imagined. Why is that story there? The believers among us understand that nothing in scripture is insignificant, or present for no reason, and least of all the account, clear and compelling, of the warrior love of Jonathan and David.
So: The Man2Man Alliance is a new force in our country and globally, a force which calls upon men who love men to do so as men, bravely and loyally, through the act of phallic mating, an act that is uniquely male and uniquely ours.
In summary:
1. Phallus-to-Phallus Sex, in the past commonly called "frottage," and today most often termed "Frot," is an inherently equal, natural, and masculine form of genital-to-genital sexual expression.
2. Anal penetration, which at present is extolled by the mainstream gay male community, is by contrast inherently unequal, unnatural, and effeminizing, and is a vector for a host of physical ills, including some which are among the most terrifying known to humankind.
3. Most straight-identified men have same-sex erotic needs and desires which contemporary heterosexual culture cruelly, un-necessarily, and unreasonably demands they deny.
4. Frot offers all men a masculine, healthy, intimate, and sensually fulfilling expression of love, affection, and comradeship.
5. The Man2Man Alliance therefore calls upon all men who love men to reject anal penetration, effeminacy, and promiscuity, and to embrace phallus-to-phallus intimacy, masculinity, and fidelity.
Signed,
February 20, 2003
Additional Reading
Our Man2Man Alliance sites are huge -- more than 900 webpages in each -- and newcomers can find that daunting.
To start we recommend four core articles:
Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution
This article discusses the history of the dominant culture of anal penetration (analism), describes how it parallels the previous heterosexual model, and talks about how the advantages of equality, mutually genital pleasure, and masculinity will accrue to men through Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution.
This article, which contains sexually explicit images, explores the essentially genital nature of sex, whether between men and men or men and women.
One of the most popular pages on the site, and absolutely essential reading.
Warning: some adult content.
This Man2Man Alliance policy paper, which is in three parts, discusses three aspects of anal penetration:
Part 1. The Biology of Anal Penetration, examines the anatomy and physiology of the anus and rectum, with particular attention paid to the various diseases and mechanical problems they're subject to when penetrated;
Part 2. The Psychology of Anal Penetration, looks at the question of pleasure and pain in anal penetration, and asks what it is that anally-receptive men actually experience during penetration; and
Part 3. The Ideology of Anal Penetration, analyzes the belief systems which underlie and support this fringe sexuality.
An Anus Is Not a Vagina is essential reading for those who wish to understand the reality and the role of anal penetration in gay male life today.
Why Be Faithful is a Man2Man Alliance policy paper which looks at at the health and psychological risks of sexual promiscuity, and examines the benefits of Fidelity.
Here are some highlights:
In Part I, we examine in depth the many concurrent epidemics of STD affecting men who have sex with men, and although we of course endorse Frot as a very low risk activity, we also note that
no sexual behavior outside of Fidelity to one uninfected lifetime partner can confer absolute protection from STD.
And we warn Frot men explicitly, as we've done countless times before, that they cannot combine Frot and promiscuity:
Men who are promiscuous, even in low-risk activities, still run the risk not only of acquiring an STD, but of being part of a process of disease creation which will, ultimately, affect everyone in the community.
In Part II, we talk about the many benefits of stable, loving, long term relationships, paying particular attention to the norm of warrior altrusim.
We also address "open relationships" by asking, "Can there be committment without fidelity?"; and respond:
Only a sexually exclusive relationship can protect male lovers from the dangers not just of STDs, but of emotional infidelity.
and we add:
Men who have sex with men, like the rest of humanity, do best in relationships when their sexual and emotional energies are focused upon each other exclusively.
We also look at abstinence both among older gay men:
For a Frot Man to choose abstinence rather than take part in a form of sex he dislikes and which is dangerous as well, is good -- it's a response which protects both his integrity and his health, and gives him time to look for a long term relationship with another Frot guy -- which is what he needs;
and among young people:
Delaying sexual onset -- abstinence -- is just as important for gay young people as for other teens.
Gay teens and gay men are not members of some alien species.
We're human beings, and we have the same needs for purity and security in our emotional and sexual relationships as heterosexual people.
And the best way for you as a young gay person to achieve those goals is to abstain from sex until you're sure you've met the man with whom you will spend the rest of your life.
We ask whether biology is destiny, and look at the phenomenon of gay male promiscuity in the modern world:
Only among gay men in the post-industrialized world, has a culture of absolute promiscuity, with no effective restraints upon individual behavior, developed.
That development is, as we shall see, though supported by an ideology and subcultural norms, very recent.
Indeed, this sort of unbridled promiscuity is so new that we may reasonably regard it as a social experiment -- and one which has, by any reasonable measures, including the physical and psychological health of its participants, and their happiness, failed.
We then look closely at the ideology of multipartnered pansexualism and the implications of the beliefs of the pansexualists.
And finally, we come back to the benefits of Fidelity and of what we call
Why Be Faithful is one of our most important policy papers to date.
So we hope you'll take the time to read Why Be Faithful
You'll be glad you did.
Although Masculinity has been a core value of the Alliance from its inception, in 2006 we began exploring Masculinity and Men's issues in more depth.
And for that reason we strongly recommend these articles:
The Power of the Masculine discusses two core concepts: Natural Masculinity and heterosexualization.
We continue that discussion in a number of articles, including
Natural Masculinity and Phallic Bonding;
Creating a Masculine, Socially-Dignified Space: Loving a Man as a Man; and,
Natural Masculinity and the Weight of the Lies.
Also highly recommended are:
MANPHOBIA: Fired for being into UFC;
and the other articles listed in Warriors Speak VIII.
Just as Masculinity has been a core value of the Alliance since its inception, so has Spirituality.
As can be seen in such relatively early articles as Masculinity and Spirit and Phallic, Masculine, Heroic.
In the Fall of 2006, the Warriors of the Alliance deepened their understanding of the spiritual apsect of Frot through a serious of posts on our Personal Stories message board.
Those discussions have now been brought togther in our core Alliance article
Sacred Phallic Love explores three of our core Warrior beliefs; that
Masculinity is a Divine Principle;
Manhood a Divine Gift; and
Frot a Holy Sacrament.
This is essential reading for those who wish to understand this most important aspect to and the spiritual basis of our Man2Man Alliance.
In addition, there are these recent and representative Policy Papers and other Articles:
Walter Odets, the sex police, and the big lie;
Protective stupidity and the debasement of language under analism;
MSM HIV Timeline; and,
If you're a regular visitor to the Alliance, and / or have read some or most of the articles suggested on this page, then it's time for you to start visiting our Personal Stories message board.
Personal Stories is the heart of the Alliance on the web.
Here you'll find new articles, posts from your fellow Warriors, and Alliance updates.
Ck it out --
You'll be glad you did.
The Man2Man Alliance, in response to requests from individual Frot Men, has begun the process of organizing real-time, real-life Regional Chapters.
Called simply "Frot Men [Name of city or region]" -- for example, "Frot Men Portland" -- these chapters are our latest organizing tool in our ongoing battle to defeat analism and radically improve the lives of Men who Love Men.
This page:
1. discusses the challenge of cultural inertia faced by the Alliance and our regional coordinators;
2. sets forth the requirements for opening a regional chapter;
3. explains how the regional chapters relate to The Man2Man Alliance worldwide; and,
4. lists the regional chapters.
If you're interested in opening a regional chapter, please visit this page.
In 2004 we presented four essays on the nature of Men who Love Men which are still highly recommended.
The first is our Man2Man Alliance policy paper, Are Men Who Have Sex With Men Intergendered?
The question is an important one, because until men understand the truth about male sexuality, they will remain vulnerable to attacks designed to confuse and frighten them, attacks coming from both the analist left and the religious right.
And because in our experience those attacks are so destructive of the lives of men, we includ as an accompanying article a powerful editorial from Alliance founder Bill Weintraub, titled Awash in Lies.
This is a strong personal statement from Bill about the reality of men who have sex with men.
In addition, in 2004 we welcomed a new essayist to the cultural section of the site, long-time Alliance contributor Dr. Robert Loring, Th.D., Ph.D., who presents, in A Case of Rape, a telling tale of analist rape and its aftermath;
and his own very moving and persuasive meditation on masculinity and loyalty, Brothers of the Heart.
All four essays are excellent and highly recommended.
Our Definitions page is a compendium of terms readers frequently encounter in the various articles, essays, and message board posts on our Man2Man Alliance and Heroic Homosex sites.
We also have a FAQS page which helps answer those frequently asked questions guys have about Frot and the Man2Man Alliance.
And please note in that regard that other than HeroicHomosex.org and FrotMen.org, which are subsidiaries of the Man2Man Alliance --
the Man2Man Alliance is NOT AFFILIATED with any other group on or off the web.
If someone or some site says that he's affiliated with the Alliance, or that his work is endorsed by Bill Weintraub or the Man2Man Alliance -- he's lying.
Plain and simple.
If you have a question about affiliations or endorsements, please write to Bill:
It's been more than seven years since White Crane Journal published Bill Weintraub's first, ground-breaking critique of anal penetration and discussion of the Phallus-on-Phallus "Frot" alternative: Since that time, his work and that of other Alliance writers has been consistently censored by the gay press.
While, by a conservative estimate, 20,000 gay and bi men in America alone have been infected with HIV each and every year.
More than 100,000 in five years.
What is it we advocates of direct phallus-on-phallus frottage, which we call Frot, have said which, in the face of an ongoing catastrophe, has earned us such unrelenting censorship?
Find out in this Man2Man Alliance editorial prompted by reports of a possible new strain of drug-resistant and highly virulent HIV and written by Bill Weintraub.
In Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love? we examine ten representative messages generated by proponents of the dominant culture of anal sex, including documents from AIDS Service Organizations, pornographers, academics, safer sex educators, gay sex advice columnists, personal ads, and major media; analyze how they support the culture of anal penetration and promiscuity among gay men; and describe our goals for a new m2m culture.
In Do Condoms Work?, we look at HIV prevention programs, and explain why we support "Primary Behavior Change," rather than "condom campaigns."
And in Is Unwanted Anal Penetration Date Rape?, we examine the ways in which participants in mainstream gay male anal culture pressure and coerce men into frot so as to penetrate them anally, and suggest ways men into frot can avoid becoming the victims of what is in fact analist date rape.
Visitors interested in other discussions of sexual culture will find a list further down this page.
In addition, we invite site visitors to learn about our other domains by clicking here and scrolling down our Fidelity Alliance page, which contains portals to our other sites.
Hyacinthine Love, or Some Thoughts on Cock-rubbing and the Cultural Tyranny of Butt-fucking.
Also noteworthy:
We caution visitors that some of our sites contain explicit pictures and descriptions of men having phallus-to-phallus sex, and we ask that you not visit those sites if you believe they will trouble you.
We maintain our adult sites as a means of modeling and affirming phallus-to-phallus for those men who are interested and seek validation.
Unfortunately, gay male life, and the internet, are now awash in a sea of anal sleaze, raunch, and kink, and we believe it's important to present images of healthy, non-promiscuous, phallus-to-phallus alternatives for men who love men.
We call such alternatives, collectively, Heroic Homosex, and that's what our sites are about -- the beauty and spirituality of the uniquely male act of phallic mating.
Mating -- not promiscuous rubbing.
And bonding -- not meaningless sex.
Love between men who are strong and noble.
Love between people who are decent and caring.
That's our vision.
We invite you to share it, and to join with us in building a new and better m2m world.
Portals to our Man2Man Alliance Domains.
Visitors who want to understand the practice of frot and the mutually genital nature of frot
can ck out our very popular adult articles
What's Hot About Frot and What Sex Is.
Visitors interested in the culture and politics of frot may read the following articles:
Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution
Hyacinthine Love
A True Story of Cockrub Romance
The Anal Sex Myth: A Frottage Manifesto
Does Sex Have to be Anal to be Gay?
Do Gay Men Have to be Promiscuous?
Risk Reduction or Cultural Change?
Is Unwanted Anal Penetration Date Rape?
Are Men Who Have Sex With Men Intergendered?
Multipartnered Pansexualism or Heroic Love?
Gay, Bi, or Straight?
Labels are Meaningless
Bug-chasing, Barebacking, and the Safer-Sex Establishment
Walter Odets, the Sex Police, and the Big Lie
The Debasement of Language Under Analism
And don't forget to ck out the rest of our
© All material on this site Copyright 2001 - 2008 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.
All material on this site, including written material, original art, and logos, is protected by copyright.
It may not be reproduced without written permission from Bill Weintraub.
