We are all warriors, we just need to know the direction of the battle

Bill Weintraub

Bill Weintraub

We are all warriors, we just need to know the direction of the battle


That was said by one of our recent donors, a military man named Dennis.

Dennis is one of many fine people you can meet on our Warrior Titans page.

We need more donors like Dennis and more donations.

I know exactly what the direction of the battle is, I know how to get us there, and I know how to win it.

But I can't do any of that without donations.

I'm at the limit of what I can do for you -- and your fate is now in your own hands.

With your donations we can take the fight where it needs to go, attract all the potential partners to the site that you want, and give you many of the extras on this site that you've been asking for.

Without donations we can't do anything more than we've done.

Nor will this site become commercial.

Recently a sort of religious crackpot appeared on the site, wanting to post not only about his bizarre theories about the nature of Christ, etc --

and about how gay men are intergendered --

which they're not -- biologically, there are two sexes, not three or five or ten, and gay men are men --

but also to make money off the site.

Every one of his posts contained a link to a site selling some needless product or service for which he received a kickback or direct profit.

I gave him the bum's rush.

Guys, sex and commerce do not mix.

HIV / AIDS was the result not just of anal sex but of the intense commericalization of anal sex through bath-houses, back room bars, sex clubs, and video pornography.

These "products and services" offered "men into anal" facilitated and encouraged promiscuity among them and in so doing nakedly exploited and killed them.

So you should be wary of any form of sex which requires an outlay of money.

Because with sex, if you have to in any way pay for it, not only is it not worth having, but chances are it's going to ultimately cost you something really vital that you don't want to give up -- like your life.

Anthropologists have a term for this kind of sex: transactional.

In transactional sex you have to give something to get something -- usually money, as with prostitutes, but not always.

For example, in many poor countries, where teen-aged girls can't afford school fees or supplies, older male "sugar-daddies" will pay for their schooling in return for sex.

Not surprisingly, this practice is the source of a lot the HIV infections in Sub-Saharan Africa.

Just as another form of transactional sex -- anal sex -- you do me and i'll do you -- is the source of HIV infection among gay and bi men in America.

Mart Finn, aka The Cockster, has an excellent essay about the difference between anal and frot in this regard called CockToCock -- it's well worth reading.

Mart talks about the difference between transactional sex -- anal -- and interactional sex -- frot -- which he sometimes calls "phalli interactive."

That's a great term.

In Phalli Interactive Sex, you don't need to buy anything to bond phallically, to unite with another man cock2cock and heart to heart.

All you need is a dick, a buddy, and a smile.

There's a big difference then between anal sex, which today has a huge commercial aspect, and which may well be built in, and FROT, which remains innocent and pure, natural and free.

We also won't go commercial because that would destroy the purpose of the site -- which is to reach out to men who love men and show them there's a way for them to do so which is hot, masculine, and -- once again -- free.

So -- to repeat: I've done as much as I can do.

I've had a fair number of op-eds in the gay press.

Op-eds are very labor intensive and of limited utility -- because most people don't read them.

They'll devour the latest bit of puff about the hapless Hanovers or the risible Rosie.

But not an op-ed.

Moreover, after three years and another 60,000 anally-vectored HIV infections, the bulk of the gay press is still not ready to question the primacy of anal -- most of the gay press will not accept an op-ed from me, nor will they do a story about us.

Maybe you're willing to wait another three years, but I'm not.

The reality is that when it comes to matters of substance, the gay press, like most of the nongay press, is useless -- they're not in the game.

So this is a battle that only you can fight and only you can win.

If you want to see real change, join the ranks of our Warrior Titans by donating and helping us reach the literally hundreds of thousands of men who are eager to hear our message.


Mart Finn

Re: We are all warriors, we just need to know the direction of the battle.


Thanks for your words Bill, thanks.

Re: Phalli interactive.

I use the term "phalli interactive" in my writing to indicate that the 'focus' of sexual activity is on or between penises. Cocktocock.

Humans tend to try to boil things down to an essence ... a sound bite ... essentially a kind of metonym ... a hook to hang things on.

We are taught to believe that sex must involve FUCKING. A) Because it goes with the reproductive modus operendi of many species (who impregnate internally). (B) Ergo ... all men like to fuck. Some twist it around to getting fucked ... but as I have said before that is a shade of a shade.

One of the crucial questions in the realm of maleness and masculinity is: what kind of male are we if we decline to fuck anything?

Over time I intend to research, write and publish on 'this kind of man'. Definitions of maleness and masculinity are always primarily culturally based, therefore, in existentialist terms they are externalised from the individual. Learned. Although I have no intention of becoming definitive ... I find this aspect of masculinty and male behaviour compelling.

Re: transactional sex

In my work I do not associate any exchange of money or goods for sex when I talk about the experience being a 'transactional' one.

By transactional I mean a kind of sex, whether it be casual or in a relationship, where one party or usually both are psychically distanced from each other. They are 'doing sex together' ... for themselves.

The concept is inextricably linked to the commercialisation of gay male attitudes to sex and often life. Sex is just another activity. To be compared and evaluated against previous experiences and those of our peers and dominant subcultural norms. If our expectations and an idiosyncratic paradigm of desires are fixed as we engage, embrace ... come to our lovers, then we are asking them to fulfill something for US. We fully intend reciprocity ... if they can stimulate it from us.

I understand what the anthropologists are on about ... transactional ... indicates money goods or favours. Yet we know there are many other forms of transaction which are not so overt ... the motivation of modern western men and women when they engage in sex can be one of them.

So once again, for me the concept of transactional sex is inextricably linked to the commercialisation of gay male attitudes to sex and often life.

Mart Finn

Bill Weintraub

Re: We are all warriors, we just need to know the direction of the battle.


that's brilliant

thank you Mart

Mart says

"The concept of transactional sex is inextricably linked to the commercialisation of gay male attitudes to sex and often life. Sex is just another activity. To be compared and evaluated against previous experiences and those of our peers and dominant subcultural norms."

To me that's a key point.

Forty years ago there was very little commercial activity associated with gay sex.

There were gay bars, but even those were few and far between -- outside of New York and SF, there were just one or two in any large city; and there were a few "athletic pictorial" magazines -- guys in posing straps.

None of the other commercial activities which have come to characterize gay male life existed.

There were no bath-houses, no sex or dance clubs, no circuit parties, no glossy soft-core or hard-core magazines, no videos or DVDs, no gay bookstores, no gay gyms, and no gay travel industry.

And there was no AIDS industry: no condoms, no pricey lubes, no pharmaceuticals, no safer-sex educators, and no ASOs.

And of course there was no internet.

Gay life was, relatively, free.

Of course there was police harassment, there was blackmail, and there were hustlers.

But most gay men managed to live their lives without any involvement with any of the forces.

Of course too there were standards of beauty and attractiveness.

But those standards were much broader, ranging from thin beatnik hippie and rocker types to muscle men to burly blue collar guys.

The requirement that all gay men be as buffed as Arnold and as smooth and alluring as a porn star simply didn't exist.

Most gay men, then, lived very private lives in which standards of attractiveness were still very free-ranging, no one sex act predominated, and sex itself was free.

A completely unintended consequence of Gay Liberation was the intense commercialization of gay male life and gay male sex.

And the subsequent cultural dominance of anal sex.

Anal sex was particularly well-suited for and benefitted from commercialization.

For example:

Because anal sex involves shit, it's important to be able to wash (preferably shower) and, for the bottom, have a bowel movement, afterwards.

Enter the bath-house.

The bath-house, which became ubiquitous in the late 1970s, provided the perfect environment for promiscuous anal sex.

A man could fuck or get fucked, have a shower and a shit, and do it again.

And again.

And again.

And look clean each time.

That was the beauty of it.

He looked and smelled fresh as a daisy.

The fact that beneath his seemingly hygenic exterior he was harboring a fatal pathogen didn't become clear until hundreds of thousands of men had been infected.

Of course there were other institutions which catered to men into anal and other extreme forms of sex, like fisting, which made no pretence at cleanliness.

Clubs like NYC's Mine Shaft and Crisco Disco "celebrated" the "funkiness" of those acts in environments with little more than a couple of dirty toilets and a filthy sink.

All of those clubs were commercial, money-making enterprises; and all of them contributed tremendously to the spread of HIV.

HIV / AIDS, in turn, gave rise to other industries: condoms and lubes and pharmaceuticals and "AIDS Service Organizations" and "safer-sex educators."

All of which, even when they offered their services "for free," cost someone money somewhere -- donors, and after awhile, taxpayers.

The rise of anal was accompanied by the rise of the clone and the hyper-masculine, buffed, look.

To obtain that look most people had to join a gym -- once again a commerical venture -- and spend long hours working out, time no longer available for more constructive pursuits like building non-commercial community institutions and political organizations.

Plus the time and money spent on physique was no longer available to be expended more usefully in other ways.

For example, virtually no gay men were willing to learn a martial art or other form of self-defense.

When I was putting forward L&G self-defense courses in NYC in the early 80s, most gay men told me they didn't have time to take a self-defense course because it would interfere with their work-out routine.

So the cult of muscle which arose was a completely empty and narcissistic one.

Its only goal was to make the person more "commercially viable" -- better able to compete in the vast meat markets of the big gay cities, in which men with monotonously similar body types, haircuts, and facial hair spent the better part of their free time obsessively pursuing each other.

Useful skills, like self-defense, were denigrated, while looking "hot" was prized above all.

So it was that gay men purposefully and consciously turned themselves into commodities.

Commodities which spent money on a compulsive quest to attract and bed other commodities.

In an act of transactional sex -- anal penetration.

Thus Mart's conclusion: "So once again, for me the concept of transactional sex is inextricably linked to the commercialisation of gay male attitudes to sex and often life."

Everthing becomes commercialized in gay male life: one's body, one's career, one's home, one's "partner" -- a term taken from business -- and sex itself.

All are commidities, all have a price.

The "gay man" *spends* 10 hours per week in the gym, *earns* $2000 per week on his job, *buys* a house for $450,000, and has a "partner" -- not a lover but a partner -- who likewise *spends* 10 hours per week in the gym, *earns* $2000 per week, and can *buy* a house for $450,000.

Sex is a trade-off -- a top for a bottom, a bottom for a top.

They're no longer people -- they've become buffed, cosmeticized, and prosperous sexual positions.

Frot, by contrast, is natural and free.

As is Fidelity.

Men who practice Fidelity and Frot remove themselves physically, morally, emotionally, and spiritually from that commericialized gay world in which human beings have become products, toys, objects for consumption and use.

And we need to keep it that way.

Mart also says "One of the crucial questions in the realm of maleness and masculinity is: what kind of male are we if we decline to fuck anything?"

I think another question, since many of the men in this club have vaginal intercourse with women but decline to butt fuck men is: "what kind of male are we if we decline to fuck another male?"

To me the answer is men who are living their own lives and being true to their own dreams, free of cultural expectations.

Men who are able to think outside the gay=anal box, and live their own, self-actualized lives.

Such men are Warriors, Cockrub Warriors, and

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