I thought I was a freak!



I thought I was a freak!


Hello guys,

I read about Frot and Frottage in this month's issue of the magazine Out. Though I understand that every one of us has his own preference in sex, I thought that I was part of the freak minority who preferred it to other forms of sex.

I am a gay man in my early 40's and I have had sexual encounters all my life. I was happy with my frot preference but always felt that I had to fit into the top or bottom "position" to satisfy my sexual partners.

In all honesty, I never liked to top anybody and never liked to be bottom at all. I never enjoyed them but obliged just to find or keep lovers.

I did communicate my preference for frot to my lovers. Many did not understand it or were unable to enjoy it. That made it hard for me to find lovers and keep them except for few who enjoyed frot like me. We thought we are in the minority and maybe we are but we thought we were FREAKS.

It is very rewarding and wonderful to find you all who share my preference.

I believe there is nothing more wonderful in the world than to enjoy a man face to face and use arms, lips, bodies, rubbing cocks, and see the most wonderful sight in the universe the beauty of the male.

Kyr Illus

Robert Loring


Re: I thought I was a freak!

We may be a minority (hmmm...most likely NOT) but we are not freaks Kyr. However, I suppose to the BFD we are freaks because we refuse to anally rape or to be anally raped. And, I suppose we might be freaks to the BFD because we refuse to surrender and plunder our MASCULINITY and instead chose to honor it and enhance it. So if that's the case then I'm proud to be a freak lol.

Sir Robert

Bill Weintraub

Re: I thought I was a freak!

Thank you Kyr and the always noble Sir Robert.

And Kyr, welcome to the Alliance.

I haven't seen that OUT article -- if it has a URL, please let me know.

It was a lot of work getting that article.

So I'm glad it's appeared and seems to be doing some good.

Now, as it happens, this is the second time in two days that a man has said "I thought I was a freak."

The first guy said, in an email, "I have always felt like a freak because I want love and fidelity from a man."

Can you imagine that?

He felt like a freak for wanting love.

Guys, please be very clear.

There's nothing freakish about Frot.

Frot is SEX.

True genital-genital sex.

Just like penile-vaginal sexual intercourse;

Penile-penile -- aka cocktocock dick2dick front2front cockrub and bone on bone -- is TRUE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.


What's freakish is pretending your anus is a vagina;

and sticking your dick in a hole full of shit.

That's truly freakish, and freaky, and bizarre behavior.

It's also fetishistic.

It fits the definition of a fetish.

To a tee.

Buttboys are the true freaks

Kyr also said:

I did communicate my preference for frot to my lovers. Many did not understand it or were unable to enjoy it.

"were unable to enjoy it."

Why would that be?

Frot, as we've discussed at length, is pure genital sex.

Every male body on this earth is hard-wired to enjoy it.

Any guy who enjoys touching or stroking or rubbing his dick --


is able, physically, not just to enjoy, but to be wildy ecstatic during and about FROT.

So: why didn't Kyr's lovers enjoy it?

This is a question I first addressed way back in 2000 in my interview with gay pioneer Jack Nichols:

Jack Nichols: My own first sexual experiences with other guys -- when I was 6, 11, 13 and 15 involved what you call frot. Quite honestly, I can still easily climax that way, but I've noticed that a lot of guys think they can't. Have you run into that?

Bill Weintraub: Yes, but I'd put it a bit differently. It's not just that men think they can't climax that way, it's that they believe that cockrubbing is a junior league form of sex, and that it's degrading or essentially unsatisfying to climax that way. So they try to sweet talk or pressure you -- or worse -- into a more socially acceptable scenario. It's not uncommon for cockrub guys to have to physically restrain men who want to fuck them. And I've got a true life account posted right now in Warriors Speak from a man who sero-converted as the result of unwanted anal penetration.

So you're constantly coming up against varying levels of coercion -- ranging from "Gee, you've got a really nice ass, I'd really like to fuck you," to "I don't think you're really gay unless you get fucked," to some guy trying to push you down and climb on top. This is after you've explained, usually more than once, that you're really not into getting fucked.

At best it's tiresome, and at worse it's horrific. And that behavior, which I've experienced and which I hear about from club members over and over again, is just one more reason to speak of a cultural tyranny of anal sex, and of bullies, and of a buttfuck dictatorship. Because clearly a lot of men think of anal sex as both a right and a necessity.

Notice that Jack said, "a lot of guys think they can't get off that way."

Jack was no dummy.

He chose that word because he knew that this was a cultural problem.

And I responded: "it's that they believe that cockrubbing is a junior league form of sex, and that it's degrading or essentially unsatisfying to climax that way."

"they believe"

That is, they've been TAUGHT that cockrubbing aka Frot is "infra dig" -- beneath worth, a junior league or low-grade way of getting off.

So it's NOT that they don't enjoy it.

It's that they think they SHOULDN'T enjoy it.

And that's a huge difference.


I said to the guy who wrote me yesterday about feeling like "a freak" because he wanted love and fidelity from his mate:

I understand, but of course you're not a freak.

It's reasonable to want love and fidelity from a man.

And in warrior cultures, love and fidelity were and are the norm in male-male relationships.

One way to conceptualize contemporary mainstream gay male culture, which we call analism, is as an "oppositional" subculture which in three key aspects turns traditional and indeed healthy values on their head:

1. For the overwhelming majority of the world's people, sex is about genitals.

For the majority of gay men in America, sex is about the anus / rectum.

That's a bizarre and very destructive erotic focus.

2. Virtually all societies support monogamy.

Gay male subculture supports and endorses promiscuity.

3. Virtually all societies prize masculinity.

Gay male subculture prizes effeminacy and various forms of pseudo-feminine behavior, such as "drag," which are psychologically linked to being anally receptive.

These three elements -- anal "sex," promiscuity, and effeminacy -- work together to produce a coherent, if highly dysfunctional, oppositional subculture.

As I say, that subculture is dysfunctional and dysphoric.

In short, the subculture is freakish.

You're not.

What you want is reasonable and indeed, in any reasonable sense of the word, NORMAL.

Let's repeat that:

It's NORMAL to want to have sex GENITALLY.

It's NORMAL to want LOVE and FIDELITY.

It's NORMAL to want to be a MAN.


All normal.

What Robert Loring and others have written a great deal about on this board is how contemporary gay and nongay men have been sold a bill of goods about what it means to be both a MAN, and a MAN WHO LOVES MEN.

Straight culture gets it wrong.

Gay culture gets it wrong.

We get it right.

Remember that guys.



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