Warriors and Freedom

Robert Loring

Robert Loring

Warriors and Freedom


For many having found this site it is a psychological relief. It is a relief in knowing that there are others like us who share our feelings, our thoughts, and our practices. Many who have come to this site have quickly discovered that they are not "strange" but that, in fact, the desire for equal and loving relationships with other like minded men is normal and goes back through a long tradition.

Going through life feeling that one is "abnormal" is difficult. Going through life feeling that one does not fit in with either the gay or hetrosexual community makes that path more difficult. Many of us have gone through our lives pretending to be gay or pretending to be straight or whatever. Yet, the whole time we have known within ourselves that we are not. But, we have played the roles and worn the masks that society says we are "suppose" to wear. And, at what cost have we done this?

When we pretend to be something we are not then we create conflict within ourselves. We become, then, men in conflict. What soon transpires is an "inner war" in which what we are fights against what society tells us we are suppose to be. Along the way we begin to question our own manhood and masculinity. Depression soon sets in and, sadly, we usually surrrender to this depression allowing it to defeat us, to dominate us, to control us.

This "inner conflict" is a battle we must fight and win. Finding this site aids us in our battle as we find strength with others who are like minded. We come to a sense of "belonging" and all human beings have a need for belonging and acceptance. We come to discover that we do not need to fight the battles we face alone but we can join with our brothers and in a group find strength from each other as well as give strength to each other. A sense of brotherhood develops and this sense of brotherhood serves to strengthen us and, somehow, our "inner battles" become easier to fight and to win.

Society dishes out a lot of garbage especially in the psychological realms. We are told what we are suppose to be, how we should dress, how we should act, etc, etc, etc. But, the dictates of societies are often wrong. Wrong because many dictates of society are based upon incomplete and false information. Warriors in ancient societies did not so much buy into the dictates of their societies and, in fact, often went against such dictates. They did this because they were freemen. They may not have been freemen physically but they were freemen in their own minds and spirits. They refused to live in the psychological prisons that society often so generously constructed for them. Instead they chose to be free but, in so doing, they acted with honor, with reverence, and with self discipline. Warriors were often seen as being rogues because they "did their own thing" and they really did not care what society dictated to them.

We call ourselves on this site "warriors" and as such we too must act with honor, with reverence, and with self discipline. Foremost and before anything else we are men. Many of us are men who have fought long battles within ourselves as we have tried to overcome the psychological conditioning of what we are "suppose" to be. What we need to realize is that just because society says something does not make it so and that instead of being "right" just because society dictates it does not make it "right" for, historically, societies have often been more wrong than they have been right.

Men who love men are masculine men. Men who love men are freemen. For, such men have simply chosen to be themselves even if the society they live in says they are "wrong". Such men are warriors in the true tradition and they begin to win the "inner conflict" that society has helped to create within them. Such men commit themselves to other men and commit themselves to the brotherhood of warriors that they have stumbled across and chosen to become a part of.

Ancient warriors held a high degree of pride and we as frot brothers and frot warriors must hold the same high degree of pride. We must be what we are and we must be proud of what we are even if all others say we are "wrong". We must move ourselves from a sense of shame and uncertainity towards a sense of pride and certainity. We must come to be freemen first within our own minds.

This site advocates frot as an alternative. But, it goes beyond that because it also advocates, intentional or not, freedom. Freedom to finally be oneself. Freedom to be masculine men who love other men. And freedom to not only be a warrior brother but to be a Victor. This site also advocates a sense of brotherhood and belonging. Strength is found in numbers and strength in numbers is one thing that we all have found on this site as we have come to discover that we do not stand alone nor do we have to fight alone.

A brotherhood of men supports each other and a cause. Our cause here is clear and that cause should be supported because their are many other men out there who are still confined in their psychological prisons and who still fight alone. There are still many men out there who are still pretending to play the roles that society has forced upon them and the whole time everything within their being screams out inside them because they know that the role they are forced to play is not them. Yet, they play the role because they feel a sense of belongingness and acceptance even though that sense is somewhat a false sense of belongingness and acceptance.

Be proud that you have chosen to be a frot brother and warrior. And act with honor, reverence, and with self discipline. Be proud that you are a man and be proud of your own masculinity instead of being ashamed of it. And, be proud that you "stumbled" across this site in which you discovered your brothers realizing that your "stumbling" was most likely no accident and no coincidence. Something led you to this site. Something led you to the discovery of frot. And something led you to this site in which you have come to find brotherhood, acceptance, and belongingness. Support each other and support the cause advocated on this site. In so doing, you support freedom of being and true masculinity. If you dont support it then you choose to allow all those untold numbers of other like minded men out there who do not yet know freedom and who are loosing their "inner battles".

Sir Robert

Robert Loring

Re: Warriors & Freedom


Once I was told by a gay friend that I could not be gay because I was "not like" other gay men. He went on to say that I could not be gay because I was "too aggressive" and because I had a temper. Personally, his comments did not offend me at all and, in fact, I was glad he said what he said. Glad because I did not want to be the overly passive, weak, indecisive, cowaring-down type at all. In fact, I took his comments as a compliment rather than as an offense.

For myself, being aggressive has always been a part of me. It is a part of my manhood. It is something that I honor and am not ashamed of. I see my aggressive streak as a part of natural masculinity and I do not use it to tower over others. Rather, it is this aggressive warrior part of me that has helped me survive through the years. It is that part of me which I have drawn on many times in the past for strength and inspiration along with motivation.

I must admit that I have never understood the passive, weak, indecisive, cowaring-down type. In fact, I have always considered such behavior as being demeaning. Yet, I understand that this is what the BFD expects one to act like because the BFD is out to destroy one's masculinity. In my way of thinking these behaviors signal defeat. They signal a person who has surrendered and who has given up and given in just to "fit in". It is sad that such men do not realize the cost of such giving in to fit in because it costs them not only physically but psychospiritually as well.

I have always honored and like the warrior/soldier image. As a child and teen I liked competive games. I liked dressing in military fatigues or wearing nothing but levi cut offs and shoes. I liked watching movies about soldiers modern and ancient. I liked being a male and I liked my own warrior aggressive streak. I liked growing my facial hair and never once considered shaving off any body hair as I seen it as a part of my own masculinity and was proud of it. I came to like hunting and hiking and still do alot of hiking yet today because I love being out in nature.

I think all men have a warrior and aggressive streak within them. And, I think that warrior part of us needs to be honored instead of shamed. I think that when we give up and give in to the BFD and become weak acting that we dishonor that warrior part of ourselves. We shame the natural warrior within us. Being a warrior-type is not, in my book, a "sin" and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. It is often from our warrior side that we gather and gain our strength because it empowers us and strengthens us to stand up for ourselves against the many social onslaughts that we all face from all aspects of our out-of-the-norm society.

When we give in and give up we disempower ourselves and we become like straw houses trying to stand against the shifting winds. It is our warrior side that turns that straw into brick and it is the brick in us which is able to stand against the shifting winds. As straw we simply blow away becoming more and more weak and indecisive. Surrender disempowers us and it will disempower us completely if we are not careful. I say be proud of your warrior side and aggressive streak! I say it is nothing to be ashamed of. I say be proud of you masculinity and manhood. Be proud of your body hair and of being a man! For, before anything else we are MEN!

The warrior is something that is innate in man I think. It is something that connects us with all other men past, present, and future. It is the warrior within each of us that connects us to the BROTHERHOOD of man. It is a part of us which is meant to be honored and not ashamed of. It is that part of us which compels us to succeed and to survive. It is that part of us which strengthens us so that we may overcome the obstacles we encounter in our lives. If we become ashamed of our strength, our warrior side, then we are already defeated within our ownselves. We have already given in and given up.

My friend never did understand my warrior-aggressive streak and, I admit at the time, I never understood his passiveness and submissiveness. In fact, I detested the way he acted, honestly. Yet, I felt sorry for him because I knew that he had already been defeated within his ownself by the dictates of the BFD. I never was successful in bringing out the warrior in him which I am sure was there...somewhere. Distance began to grow between us after that conversation and it has now been a long time since we have seen each other. I went down my warrior way and he, I suppose, continued down the path of passivism and weakness. I have often wondered just how defeated he is today. I have often wondered if he is even still alive or did he succumb to AIDS. I have often wondered just how disempowered he is today because he was already pretty much disempowered at the age of 22.

Sir Robert

Bill Weintraub

Re: Warriors & Freedom


Thank you Robert for another really wonderful post.

Over the last year Robert Loring has made a series of very important posts, including Brotherhood, this one on "Warriors and Freedom," and three which we've recently added to Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution:

A Case of Rape;

Brothers of the Heart; and,

The Ultimate Defeat.

Plus, he's the author of the very popular We ARE Warriors.

One of the things Robert very clearly understands is that Heroic Homosex and The Man2Man Alliance exist on more than one level.

At its most basic our message is clear:

Frot, not anal

Fidelity, not promiscuity

Masculinity, not effeminacy

But on another level, our message is more complex.

For example, when we talk about Frot we are indeed, as Robert says, talking about Freedom.

When we talk about masculinity, what we're saying is that men who have sex with men are men -- nothing more and nothing less.

They're not intergendered or intersexed, they're not genetically anomalous, they're men, ordinary men who are doing something which is essentially and naturally male.

That truth is core to everything we do and say here: men who have sex with men are men.

Nothing else.

Which means, as Robert says, that we have a right to our masculinity -- as do all men.

And that our masculinity is something we should prize and cherish and honor.

And part of masculinity, as Robert also says, is being aggressive.

That doesn't mean being inappropriately aggressive.

But it does mean recognizing that being aggressive is a major part of the sociobiology of being male -- and that men ignore or seek to deny it at their peril.

Historically, over the last few millenia, the model for male aggression has been the warrior.

And though warriors can be, as Robert pointed out, free spirits, more often they work in tightly bonded groups with other warriors.

That masculine ability to bond extremely tightly with other males in the service of defense and aggression is one of our most distinctive human characteristics.

While not entirely unique to human beings, it's founded upon two sociobiologic traits in human life: the "retention of males" and "reciprocal altruism."

These are not mysterious.

Among many animals, including gorillas, males are basically booted out of the family group when they reach "adolescence," and go off on their own to find a mate or mates -- a harem.

This usually involves a lot of conflict with other adolescent males and of course adult males -- and not infrequently results in fights to the death.

Humans, on the other hand, retain, as do chimpanzees, males within the group or tribe or clan at puberty.

These males then bond and form warrior bands, which are used to gain reproductive advantage -- that is, sex -- and to defend territory.

Clearly, bonded groups of males have a great advantage over lone males, and are easily able to chase away individual would-be interlopers.

These males are able to bond through "reciprocal altruism," which means simply I'll do something for you if you do something for me.

Human beings understand "reciprocal altruism" instinctively.

That's why we like it when someone does us a favor and get angry if we do a favor and it's not returned.

*Reciprocal* altruism, as much as love, makes our human world go round.

And that's what warrior bonds are about.

These bonds become, under duress such as in war, incredibly intense, so much so that it's not unusual to hear solidiers say that they loved the men in their unit more than their families, even more than their wives.

Why? Because they knew that their buddies were willing to die for them.

That's the essence of reciprocal altruism in the warrior bond.

Now, in our culture, when men refer to that sort of love among comrades, they're speaking, usually, of a non-sexual but still very powerful love.

But historically, warrior cultures have always recognized that some warriors -- and in some cultures all warriors -- will form particularly intense bonds with one other warrior, that these bonds will be in part erotic in nature, that the two warriors so bonded will be sexually and emotionally monogamous or Faithful, and that these erotically-bonded warrior pairs make extremely effective fighting units.

That is an historical and poetic truth, amply testified to in both history and myth, and it is not an anamolous or unusual behavior among warriors.

To the contrary: it is a common, ordinary, male behavior.

Men who are paired erotically do not have to go to war, however, to experience the power of the warrior bond.

For example, many men who cared, as I did, for a partner with AIDS, learned, if they stayed the course, just how powerful bonding under duress can be.

So: masculinity and aggression are part of being male.

They are not attributes we should shun or be ashamed of.

Masculinity is not the same as "macho" or "hypermasculinity" or other forms of posturing.

But being masculine, and being comfortable with aggression, is part of our heritage as men.

That's why I encourage men -- basically all men -- to train in some combat sport -- like a martial art.

And I think that's particularly important because boys are no longer automatically given that sort of warrior training.

Properly taught, a martial art confers discipline and gives the male control and confidence in his use of aggression.

So that men learn to be comfortable with being aggressive while also being in control of their aggressive impulses.

Thank you again Robert Loring.

Those interested can read more about male sociobiology in our Warriors Speak message thread Superheroes, Myths, and Wrestling Buddies -- Part II and in Mythic Identification and the Warrior Bond.


Re: Warriors & Freedom


Yesterday I was watching The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers. I was struck by the scene of Aragorn and Theoden discussing the fate of Helm's Deep. It was a moment of despair for Theoden. The Uruk-hai had taken over the keep and were smashing through the final barrier to their victory. Theoden felt all was lost, until Aragorn stepped in to encourage the King of the Rohan. Aragorn appealed to Theoden's sense of honor and duty to his people. He appealed to Theoden as one warrior to another.

Theoden was ready to give in to the Uruk-hai, to give in to the certain destruction that stood on the otherside of the wooden doors. Only darkness and servitude and death could come from the Uruk-hai.

But Aragorn's words struck a cord with Theoden. They revived the waning spirit, the Warrior Spirit, and reminded Theoden of something very important. It was better to die in an act of freedom, than to live under the dark tyranny of Sauron. It calls to mind the statement of Patrick Henry, "give me liberty or give me death."

Freedom is an essential part of being a warrior, so much so that the ancient Teutons who conquered the Roman province of Gaul referred to themselves as the Franks, which meant 'the free people.' Freedom was intimately tied to the Teutonic warrior culture. Only freemen were warriors. The distinction, in fact, between a warrior and a soldier, is that the latter is bound to an authority above him, while the former is not bound to any authority.

Freedom and warriorcraft are two sides of the coin of manhood. One supports the other. Freedom cannot exist in a man who is unwilling to fight and die to protect it.

Servitude is the opposite of war. Peace, peace of mind, is a consequence of Freedom. One cannot have freedom and peace without the qualities of a warrior: honor, respect, love, compassion, fidelity and the ideas mentioned in this website. So much of human history demonstrates what happens when warriors do not rise against the forces of tyranny. Entire cultures are wiped away, entire races are decimated. The consequence of standing down in the face of tyranny is servitude, which is spiritual death.

Theoden and Aragorn led the Rohirrim out to battle the Uruk-hai. The surprise of the cavalry attack, along with the providential arrival of Gandalf and the other Rohirrim stemmed the tide of Saruman's troops. Notice that it was a frontal assault, not a defensive posture, that broke the ranks of the Uruk-hai. It was the willingness to put everything on the line that pushed the Rohirrim to victory. Likewise it is when we are willing to push forward from our position that we will make headway and change our condition.

Ave Victoria Triumphusque

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