pseudo-heterosexual behaviors
in the lesbian community



pseudo-heterosexual behaviors in the lesbian community


Intro note from Bill Weintraub

Hi guys

This is a letter from a Woman, who self-identifies as lesbian, who's supportive of our work, but who wishes to remain anonymous -- that is, she gave me permission to post her letter, but asked that no email address be included.

In that she joins recent posters Tom, who said

If I could be identified I think there would be a lynch mob of sodomites headed my way to get my ass. These people who make broad claims for tolerance are among the most intolerant I've ever met.

and the Woman who wrote the post I call Letter from an Unknown Woman.

Now, when I posted her letter, it'd been more than a month, and I hadn't heard back from her.

She did eventually write back to me, and she too asked that I post her anonymously:

I ask you a favor : to do it in anonymity -- should anyone by any chance -- though highly improbable -- suspect I am behind it, I think I might be burned in a fire like a witch in the dark ages!

So what we can see is that there's now a pervasive fear of those sweet and gentle people known to the world as "gay men" and "lesbians" -- among other people who identify either as gay, bi, or lesbian themselves -- or just people in general, people like the author of the "Letter from an Unknown Woman," who though she identifies as "straight," still fears the "LGBT community."

We'll come back to this charming development in a bit.

For now, please read this letter from a Woman I'll call "Sarah":

pseudo-heterosexual behaviors in the lesbian community
I don't know if you receive many emails from women, especially lesbians, but I just wanted to say that I really love your site and I totally agree with what you stand for. I've always fought against these pseudo-heterosexual behaviors in the lesbian community. Some lesbians are profoundly brainwashed into thinking that there needs to be gender roles in relationships and in the bedroom. These beliefs end up leaving these women confused, frustrated about their identities as women and in relationships that don't last. I believe that femininity is beautiful and should be celebrated and feel the same way you do about men and masculinity.

Keep doing a great job :)

Reply from

Bill Weintraub

Re: pseudo-heterosexual behaviors in the lesbian community


Hey Sarah,

Thank you for writing to me and for your kind words about my work and our sites.

I'm glad they've resonated and been meaningful for you.

Let's take a look:

I don't know if you receive many emails from women, especially lesbians,

Sarah, I do receive email from a variety of Women, and at present we have three Women posted in Personal Stories / Warriors Speak:

The first is from a woman who identifies as lesbian, and is titled

Right on the Money: A Woman Warrior Speaks

Then there's this one from another Woman:

A Woman's Viewpoint: Guys doing Frot is extremely erotic to me

And finally, there's this, which is the most recent:

Letter from an Unknown Woman

So Women do write, and do post, and at present there's one Woman, Frances, who's quite active in the Alliance and has posted quite a bit.

Sarah, many of the emails I receive from Women who identify as straight are about pressures to take part in anal penetration -- which they don't want to do.

I don't know how much of an issue that is for straight-identified Women, but I do hear from Women for whom it is.

We know that, at present, about 40% of American male-female couples have done anal -- at least once.

But we don't know what percentage, beyond that one time, continues to do anal, or how frequently;

and we don't know how many Women are experiencing the sort of pressure and coercion to do anal which is so common among gay-identified males.

All I know is that Women do write to me and say they're being pressured to do anal and they don't like that pressure -- they find it very upsetting.

but I just wanted to say that I really love your site
Thank you Sarah.
and I totally agree with what you stand for.
Sarah, that's great!
I've always fought against these pseudo-heterosexual behaviors

Yes, that's what they are.

To me, all same-sex -- whether it's male-male or female-female -- has been profoundly distorted by the process we call heterosexualization, and which we discuss at length in our policy paper Sex between Men: An Activity, not a Condition.

But clearly, mixed-gender models -- which you call, correctly, "pseudo-heterosexual," and which we call "heterosexualized" -- these models prevail among same-gender couples.

And they're distorting -- they bend people out of shape -- forcing them to play the roles of pseudo-females and pseudo-males.

in the lesbian community. Some lesbians are profoundly brainwashed into thinking that there needs to be gender roles in relationships and in the bedroom.

As are most gay-identified men.

These beliefs end up leaving these women confused, frustrated about their identities as women and in relationships that don't last.
Yes -- and that's what happens to many gay-identified men.
I believe that femininity is beautiful
and should be celebrated
and feel the same way you do about men and masculinity.

Sarah, I understand.

What's interesting, Sarah, is the way the L&G community, which in the early days of Gay Lib set out to liberate itself from hetero or mixed-gender sex roles, has now embraced those roles so completely, and is so viciously intolerant of anyone who questions those roles -- and who questions the wisdom of those whom Gore Vidal calls "same-sexers" adopting those roles.

I just put up a post titled Combative and Aggressive in which I said,

"If you're making Love with a Man -- you want the Man to be a Man."

That's always seemed self-evident to me -- that's why you're doing it.

You're making love with a Man because you're into Men and Masculinity.

Why else do it?

But that simple idea has engendered a firestorm of criticism in what I term the so-called gay community.

So-called because on the male side, at least, it actively excludes Men who refuse to participate in anal and the analist sex roles.

It's extremely intolerant of those Men, and actively censors and silences their views anywhere possible.

Even going so far as to delete "male looking for male" posts on Craigslist that say "not into anal."

Keep doing a great job :)

Sarah, thank you.

And I hope you'll keep Fighting too.

So -- Sarah sees in the "lesbian community" what we see so clearly in the "gay male community" -- and that is the imposition of what she calls, again, correctly, "pseudo-heterosexual behaviors" upon same-sex couples.

And she says that's something she's always fought against.

Which is very much to her credit.

At the same time -- and I am by no means taking her to task -- she doesn't want even her web-based, pseudonymous, email address used on our site.


Well, as I've often said, and quoting the Soviet dissident Anton Sharansky, the level of dissent is determined by the price of dissent.

So -- the higher the price of dissent -- the more likely that is, that you'll be punished in some significant way for publically dissenting -- the less likely it is that people will publically dissent.

Because it's too expensive -- it costs the person too much.

So what you get is a very small number of dissenters who are consistenly attacked and beaten up.

I talked about that in The Assault on Frot Club, where I talked about the large number of "ad hom" attacks which have been made upon me and which reside throughout the internet.

Those attacks are effective in two ways:

  1. They divert attention from and prevent any reasonable discussion of the actual issues; and

  2. They deter other people from dissenting.

Of course the people who make these attacks are utterly despicable.

But so were the KGB.

Problem is, they're effective.

As was the KGB.

Notice the word "was."

Because there is no more KGB.

It fell when its dominant culture, Soviet Communism, fell.

So --

Just as Sharansky and his fellow very determined dissidents worked to destroy the KGB and the system it supported --

So you too have it in your power to undermine the effectiveness of the gay establishment's attacks upon Frot and upon me in particular.

But to do that, you have to publically -- and under your own name -- join me in dissenting.

It is, after all, the thrust of many of the ad hom attacks upon me that I'm the only person in this great wide world who's into Frot -- and the only person who dislikes -- detests, actually -- anal.

And that my love of Frot and detestation of anal is tied in some mysterious way to some personality or character defect.

But if you come along and say, Look, I'm not Bill Weintraub, but I too love Frot and hate anal -- you create a problem.

Because then it's not just Bill Weintraub.

So that's something else you can do which wouldn't cost you a thing -- not even one of those bright shiny dimes you're so fond of -- and which would help to undercut the analists' attacks.

Of course, for it to be effective, you'd actually have to do it.

You'd actually have to start posting, and under your own name.

And thus exercising your Freedom of Speech.

One of the things I know, because I was active in the Gay Lib years, is how important Freedom of Speech was to the gay movement and people who thought of themselves as "gay."

Without Freedom of Speech, those who opposed what we called, correctly, "the heterosexual dictatorship," would have have been helpless.

Indeed, when you look at the status of people who identify as "gay" in Western Europe -- where there's a long tradition of free speech -- and Eastern Europe -- which was communist-ruled and in which there was no free speech for many years -- you see a huge difference.

The ability -- the freedom -- to speak freely -- makes a difference.

Which is, no doubt, one of the reasons that the buttboys, whose leaders have long memories, are so determined to totally and utterly destroy our Freedom of Speech.

Will they succeed?

That's really up to you, isn't it?

The analists know what they want and they've worked diligently and continue to work very hard to achieve it.

And they've not hesitated to put not just some money -- but vast sums of money -- into their effort to force the public to believe that the "pseudo-heterosexual behaviors" of which Sarah speaks are the moral and societal equivalents of actual male-female behavior.

On the male-male side of the equation, that means they've worked very hard -- and successfully -- to convince the public that anal penetration is the equivalent of penile-vaginal sex.

It isn't, nor can it ever be.

And yet our view, which is that sex between Men should be about penises -- and not anuses --

and that sex between Men should be as naturally and organically mutually genital -- as sex between Men and Women is -- has been completely obscured.


Because of me?


Because of you.

You won't speak up, and you won't donate.

End of discussion.

Except to say, that there will be consequences, as there always are, to your cowardly silence and your shortsighted stinginess.

Look -- I've said that the buttboys use ad hom attacks against me.


Because they cannot refute, calmly and deliberately, my critique of an act -- and the culture built around it -- which they call sex but which we call a lie.

If anal were what they say it is -- they'd have no need to call me names.

Or resort to the sort of shameful strong-arm tactics which they use against me and against other Men who refuse to do anal.

But they do resort to those tactics.

They bully, they slander, they pressure, they coerce.

You need to think about that.

For it means that not only is your silence cowardly, but completely, and utterly, unneccesary.

Once again, I thank Sarah for her post.

Bill Weintraub

September 5, 2010

© All material Copyright 2010 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.

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The Warrior God is the Guardian of that Spirit.

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You may call him Ares as did the Greeks.

What's important is that you understand and acknowledge

the vital role He plays in Your Life.


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