Young men, frot and the (uncertain) future



Young men, frot and the (uncertain) future


I'm worried about the bi/gay/straight young men growing up in this much troubled and confused world. They already have to face many problems but one I wasn't so aware of until now is how much they have been indoctrinated about anal sex!

I've chatted with lots of 18/25yo guys in the last few months and I'm appalled by their reaction everytime I openly confess not to do or like anal... 80% of them doesn't understand and ask me why I'm not doing "real sex"! Can you believe that? In 2006, there's still lots of young guys who think that REAL sex is anal and everything else (frot, kiss, masturbation... even sucking!) is just foreplay!!! Some of them listen to me and understand a different point of view, but many try instead to convince me that I'm not really enjoying sex until I'll try anal... It's no use to tell them I've ALREADY "tried" when I was younger, and I didn't like it! They still think that maybe I had a bad experience and should try again... And then there are those who don't like anal at all but keep on doing it because "this is how it's done if you're a gay man"!

How sad! The most natural act between two males attracted to each other is considered foreplay by young men because everyone always told them the same refrain: "anal is good, anal is real, anal is gay". How very sad...

Thanks God for this wonderful site and people like Bill Weintraub and all the others who posted here in the past few years... but it's not enough. The "gay community" still regards us as sexual/fetish freaks and teach our youngs to think the same. How will they grow up? How will they understand that when they move closer to a friend or a brother and rub their cocks together, it's the most intimate and natural sex act between two males?

Bill Weintraub

Re: Young men, frot and the (uncertain) future


Thank you Andrew.

It's great to see you back on the board.

Andrew is the author of, among many posts, The Wrestling Way to Cockrubbing, which is really terrific.

"How will they understand that when they move closer to a friend or a brother and rub their cocks together, it's the most intimate and natural sex act between two males?"

Good question.

The only way they can know and understand that is by hearing about it, and the only way they can hear about is if we tell them.

And the most efficient way to do that is through advertising.

Which means donating so that we can buy the advertising.

That's just how it is.

No one's going to give us those ads for free.

I just posted about a major new "AIDS awareness campaign" which is pushing this idea:

"HIV is a gay disease."

Those words will go onto billboards and into magazines all over Southern California -- the most populous part of America's most populous state.

Plus it will be all over the internet.

It was already in the LA Times -- the country's fourth largest newspaper.

Other papers will pick it up from there.

And it was on KABC -- where it will be picked up by other TV stations.

That's why those kids think what they do.

Because that's what they're told.

If I had the money, I would buy an ad in the LA Times TODAY putting forth the info I discussed in that post:

that HIV isn't a gay disease;

that HIV is an anal disease.

That condoms are a failed strategy.

And that FROT is super hot and super safe.

And I would talk about Cochrane and Halperin and Buchbinder and Cohen.


All there for all to see.

Such an ad would ignite debate.

And it would publicize a simple fact:

Not all MEN who love MEN do anal.

Not all MEN who love MEN are part of that analist subculture.

I was just talking with Jim about that.

How difficult it is for men who aren't in that culture to in any way "come out."

Because there are no referents.

What do you say to your friends, your family, your co-workers?

"I'm gay?"

Gay has become synonymous with anal, promiscuity, and effeminacy.

So then you have to correct all of that.

Look -- here's this guy I talked about in Field of Queens:

I am a str8t male bodybuilder. When I see another bodybuilder in the shower or steam room, all I can think about is pinning him against the wall and grinding my big, fat cock into his cock and rubbing my cock all over his big muscles. The whole idea of sucking or fucking another guy does nothing for me at all, yet nude wrestling/cock fighting bones me right up. I have a hard on just from writing this email. I have never admitted any of this to a living, breathing soul. I love my wife intensely, and I love fucking her; yet the thought of grinding my meat into another man's meat does something to me as well. What should I do now?

What should he do now?

What are you going to tell him?

This guy is a married jock.

He goes ape for other jocks.

He wants to wrestle and cockfight.

All completely natural and normal.

Yet in our society, he feels he can't say so: "I have never admitted any of this to a living, breathing soul."


Because of the religious right.

Because of heterosexism.

Because of the identification of gay with anal and effeminacy, which is promoted by the gay leadership.

And only YOU are there to speak truth to those powers:

  • That REAL MEN do love other MEN;

  • That the LOVE of WARRIOR for WARRIOR is not a sin, but a Divine gift -- the Greatest Gift; and

  • That the TRUE LOVE of MAN for MAN is expressed PHALLICALLY.


Only YOU can speak those truths.

NO ONE ELSE will do it.

So you have to DONATE.


DONATE to buy the space in the media we need to get this discussion going.

Last month we had 12 donors.


And it's not stable.

We need 100 guys donating $20 per month.

Or even better -- 200 guys donating $10 per month.

Then we can move ahead.


Boomer just posted about the UFC on Spike -- which is a cable channel.

How many of you have cable TV?

All of you -- right?

And how much do you pay for it -- $30, $40, $50 or more per month.

And what's on it?

Meretricious crap.


Useless meaningless bullshit that you forget 3 seconds after it's passed in front of your eyeballs.

This site and this Alliance are about SAVING YOUR LIFE.

And the lives of ALL your fellow MEN WHO LOVE MEN.

That's a lot more important than cable.

And if you can find the money for cable -- you can find the money to support this work.

Now: I talked about the "HIV is a gay disease" ad campaign.

At this moment we have HIV / AIDS as an issue.

We won't forever.

Eventually HIV will be cured -- and / or there will be a vaccine.

Then what are you going to do when your "friends" tell you to GET ON YOUR KNEES AND HAVE SOME FUN -- BITCH?

What are you going to do?

If you don't have the courage of your convictions now -- when a deadly disease stalks every man who has sex with men -- what are you going to do then?

This is the moment.



© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.



Re: Young men, frot and the (uncertain) future


Everywhere I go, every time I can, to anyone I can, whether it's just someone I'm randomly talking to, or someone I know in person, I try to spread the word and tell people about this site.

My mom was CONVINCED that homosexuality was wrong because she thought that anal was all that guys did. I told her I hated the idea of anal just as much as she did, and that there were other better things that guys did, and she changed her tune.

There's a guy I know who might be into guys, but doesn't want to admit it because of the stigma of homosexuality, I think I'm gonna try to tell him about this site and see where it goes.

And... as far as donations go, I'm literally a hundred dollars in the hole right now, but the first thing on my list when I get money in in a month is another donation check. This site has meant more to more people than anyone realises, I think, and I don't understand why Bill doesn't have more money than he knows what to do with. ._. Don't lose faith!

Bill Weintraub

Re: Young men, frot and the (uncertain) future


Thank you Jon.

Jon is the author of The defamation of male love.

And what he's doing are EXACTLY the right things to do.

As to the rest of you -- if you're not doing them -- if you're not donating and otherwise spreading the word -- NOTHING will ever change.

YOUR LIBERATION can only be the work of YOUR HANDS.

When I came out in 1972 -- which is to say, when I finally figured out that heterosexism was a lie and that there was nothing wrong with me or any other man who wanted to have sex with men -- I didn't spend the next ten years lurking on the net.

Or hiding out in gay bars.

I did what's Jon's doing.

I told EVERYONE I knew -- face-to-face, upclose and personal.

I founded a local organization to fight for gay rights.

I donated to that organization and others that were fighting the same fight.

I volunteered.

I worked door-to-door, I worked street fairs, I worked Gay Pride Day, I went to pot-luck suppers and rallies and marches and whatever else would further the cause.

I was passionately involved.

That's how I met Brett.

I get letters from you guys day after day after day after day whining about your inability to meet someone.


How am I supposed to fix that?


You won't donate, you won't put together a Regional Chapter, you won't do a booth on Gay Pride Day, you won't come out to your family and friends, you won't train in a combat sport.

You won't do anything.

And then you wonder why you're alone.

So: as I've said over and over and over again:




Jon has chosen rightly.

What will YOU do?

I understand that you've internalized your oppression.



I understand it because I've lived it.

But at a certain point you have to say NO to that oppression and you have to FIGHT BACK.

If you don't -- and if in particular you don't DONATE -- you're going to lose these sites and ME with them and then you're going to say

oh my goodness

now what'll I do?

And there won't be anyone to answer you.

Will there?

Bill Weintraub

© All material Copyright 2006 by Bill Weintraub. All rights reserved.

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